fantasy idol time: when's your birthday?...

In the days preceding Tuesdays, the rumors run wild and rampant about possible themes.  Most of the rumors turn out to be just that, but occasionally enough information surfaces that, while it may or may not prove to be accurate, is convincing enough to merit attention.

Above is a photo, taken after Wednesday's show, which shows Ryan and the kids, taping their "surprise!  Here's next week's theme.  Can anyone guess the clues?" moment.  Carrie is holding a baby photo of herself as the others admire her in her infant adorableness. 

A theme that has never been held on American Idol, but has been a theme on many of the other Idol shows, such as Canadian Idol and Australian Idol, is the "Birth Year Theme," where the contestants must choose a song recorded sometime within the year of their birth.  The baby photos (it appears as if Ryan is holding pics of all of them -- Vonzell's seems to be next) would lend a bit of credence to this idea.

So, it may be right, or it may be wrong, but no one is gonna fall over dead if I play around, so here we go.

It's Fantasy Idol -- Birth Year edition!

Bo and Constantine, if this turns out to be true, have hit the lottery.  Both of them, born in 1975, have a treasure trove of beauties from which to choose.  It was so difficult to narrow down choices for both of them, so I went a little overboard, but I did kind of compile each of their first CDs!

If Constantine would listen to me, he might consider You are So Beautiful, by Joe Cocker.  Imagine that song, those goo-goo eyes and millions of females with drool coming out the side of their mouths.  But, if he prefers to jazz things up this week, he might try Sweet Emotion, by Aerosmith, You're the First, The Last, My Everything, by Barry White or How Sweet It Is by James Taylor.  And, if he wants to drive that final nail in the I'm Not A Rocker coffin, there is always He Don't Love You (Like I Love You) by Tony Orlando and Dawn or Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song, by B.J. Thomas.  You're welcome, Constantine!  One word of warning, though:  do NOT announce to the world that Thank God I'm A Country Boy, by John Denver. 

The Bo choices are plentiful too.  My first choice would be Black Water (again) by the Doobie Brothers, but I really question how easy it would be to sing as a single.  But that worry don't stop me from wanting to hear it.  So Bo, you might consider Some Kind of Wonderful, by Grand Funk Railroad or even Amie, by Pure Prairie League.  Lynyrd Skynyrd is always good, though.  How about Free Bird?  Saturday Night Special?  Then there is always Hey You, by Bachman Turner Overdrive.  (I know ... I keep harping for Bo to sing BTO, but I love them.  What else can I say?)  Another possibility would be That's The Way of the World, by Earth Wind and Fire.  Just, please, no matter how much we love you, do NOT out yourself to world that you are, indeed, a Rhinestone Cowboy, by Glen Campbell.

Oh, the possibilities!  Oh, the fantasy!

Scott would have to dive into the songs from 1976.  And he is still under so much pressure to excel.  So Scott, I would select for you You'll Never Find, by Lou Rawls.  How I adore that song.  No?  Then consider This Masquerade, by George Benson, More Than a Feeling, by Boston, Kiss and Say Goodbye, by The Manhattens or If You Leave Me Now, by Chicago.  But you could bring me to my knees with Beth, by Kiss.   Just please, do NOT attempt to Shake Your Booty, by KC & the Sunshine Band.

Nadia has the misfortune of being stuck with 1977, a very good year to graduate from high school, but not so great for song selection.  I would recommend Don't Leave Me This Way, by Thelma Houston, even though Latoya performed this last year, and I never suggest do overs.  So why not consider Walk This Way, by Aerosmith?  That could be interesting.  But there's always Fleetwood Mac.  Don't Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow) was a hit in '77.  Just do NOT attempt to Light Up My Life, by Debby Boone.

Anwar gets the 1979 bowl full of titles from which to choose.  But I've done all the work -- all he has to do is loosen up, let it go and have fun.  Oh, and stay in tune.  Anwar could do wonders with The Rose, by Bette Midler, but he could have some fun with Do Ya Think I'mSexy?, by Rod Stewart.  The Commodores had a hit with Still in 1979.  That's a thought.  Ain't No Stoppin Us Now, by McFadden & Whitehead would be a good choice, even though it's really not good for teachers to be using ain't.  But my choice?  I pick Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin', by Journey.  Randy always likes when the kids sing Journey.  But one thing, Anwar:  do NOT, under any circumstance go to the Y.M.C.A., by the Village People.

Carrie gets 1983.  What a terrible year.  Sorry Carrie.  So you could even make a fan of me if you choose Flashdance, by Irene Cara.  No?  Leg warmers out?  Okay.  Then put on some boring 1950s dress, stand there and sing Tonight I Celebrate My Love, by Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flack or Islands In The Stream, by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton.  You've already been annointed champion, so I don't see why you can't be two people.  Okay.  Duets a bad idea?  How about Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) by The Eurythmics?  Do NOT attempt another Total Eclipse of the Heart, though, by Bonnie Tyler.  Been there, done that.

Vonzell is our 1984 baby, and she's got a lot of "girl songs" from which to choose.  The Pointer Sisters had hits with I'm So Excited and Jump (For My Love).  Those are possibilities.  But I can see Vonzell hitting the Bo Ramp with Let's Hear It For The Boy, by Denise Williams.  And she's one of the few Idol contestants who I would trust with Tina Turner.  How about What's Love Got To Do With It?  But there is nothing that says she can't try Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, by Wham.  The choices are terrific.  Just do NOT call Ghostbusters, by Ray Parker, Jr.

And the baby of the group, Anthony/John Stevens, will be given the 1985 songbook.  Let's slow Anthony down to ballad tempo, no snapping fingers again.  Try Suddenly, by Billy Ocean or Say You, Say Me, by Lionel Ritchie.  No?  Okay, I'll compromise.  How about Sea Of Love, by the Honeydrippers, or Walking on Sunshine, by Katrina and the Waves?  And there's always John Fogerty's Centerfield.  Put me in coach, I'm ready to play... Only rule?  Do NOT, under any circumstances believe that We AreThe World, by a whole bunch of people calling themselves USA for Africa.

Well, so much for my fantasy.  What's yours?

SIMULBLOG: one hand, one heart, one plane ticket...

Here we go again.  Time for another execution, and, since I'm now an hour behind my friends on the coast (or near the coast) I have a pretty good idea that what we get is not what we expect.

But I'm going to blog it as I see it anyhow.

Another record voting night -- over 32 million.  And Fantasia is in the house, Ryan reminds us as we are assaulted, once again, with the atrocity that was last night.  If they would spend less time rehashing the old stuff, we could spend more time on commercials.  Haven't they figured that out yet?

So the first group sing will be the Tsunami Tsingle -- When You Tell Me That You Love Me.  But, Ryan tells us, the other two group sings will be on the CD.  They must not want to make too many copies of that CD, cutting costs, you know.

Fantasia looks great as usual, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.  She's channeling Tina Turner.  She's telling the kids to "act ugly."  She musta seen last night.  And Ruuuuuuuuben is in the house too!  With Kimberly Caldwell, who is introduced but, apparently is in the potty.  They are Weiners on a Stick, apparently.  How nice that their careers are on the upswing.

And after the break, we're going to slice and dice.  Great.  Must mean no group sing.  But wonder what the commercial will be.  We've done miniatures; we've done muppets.  What is left?  How about a Geico spot.  Or one which they just walk down the sidewalk singing.  Okay.

Nikko is in the bottom three, and he's none too happy.  Vonzell is next, and she's also headed to the stage.  Everyone boos, and Ryan reminds the booers that it's all their fault.  Scott is also sent to the stage.  And he's really mad, as Ryan tells all the other kids that they're safe.

Bo says he's shocked that it's not him on the stage (yeah, right).  John Stevens, uh, I mean Anthony mumbles some nonsense as he tries to hide the fact he just peed his pants, and Ryan sends us to another break to let Nikko, Vonzell and Scott catch their breath and the two people sitting on either side of Anthony to dry their seats.

Randy tells Scott he needs to go, because the others were awesome.  Obviously Randy was in the potty during Nikko's performance.  Paula spouts her usual, assuring each of them that they will be huge recording artists, therefore they really don't need this popsicle stand of a show, and Simon essentially says that Paula is stupid.

Vonzell is sent back to the sofa.  She's safe.  Well, heck, she should be.  She's the only one of the three that shouldn't have been there in the first place, but maybe she'll think twice before doing a tired old song again.  And hopefully she'll bitch slap Anthony later.

And there's Ruuuuuuuuuuuuben and Kimberly again, but this time it's a promo for that weiner on a stick show.

Ryan forces Nikko to tell the world what he did wrong, seeing as he's the comeback kid and all.  Scott says he's not perfect.  Scott, honey, it's too late to beg.

Ryan lets Scott off the hook, and he pees his pants.  Nikko watches the funeral tape and remembers how lucky he was to have been able to spend four weeks on the stage.  He sings the song which got him booted, dedicates it to Mario, and books a flight home to St. Louis.

Well, I was ready for a shocker and didn't get one, except for the fact that John Stevens is back and his fans are more dangerous than I had imagined.

Till next week.

Simulblog out.

 

 

that was the sound of music?...

Well, at least it was sound. 

I have to confess.  Last night was one in which American Idol was just one of many sounds in a mass of conflict.  It's difficult to watch, listen, take notes and try to form a semi-literate entry while, at the same time, cursing the day I decided to marry, regretting the day I chose my career path and wondering if the day I was born was indeed a blessing.

Whew.  But as the dust settled and, indeed, the sun did come up again, albeit earlier than it did on the east coast, it was time to rewind the archaic VHS tape and watch my favorite show undisturbed.

Problem is, now I'm more disturbed than I was.

Disaster doesn't quite fit, does it?

I still question the wisdom of selecting Broadway musicals as a theme, considering the term "Broadway" has been used pejoratively over the last three seasons.  But some of the most beautiful of music has come from these musicals, so the challenge was, indeed, challenging.

With a few exceptions, the performances were disappointing to put it lightly.  It became apparent with Scott's opening The Impossible Dream, that the kids really were unacquainted with these songs, their contexts, and the musical from which they came.  Even Vonzell admitted that she had just learned People, from Funny Girl, one of the most well-known musicals of the last fifty years, if not from Broadway, then from the movie adaptation. 

Most of the kids seem to have just memorized the melody and the lyrics (and even though those were messed up more than once) and decided that was enough effort.  Most of these songs were phoned in, devoid of any understanding of the meaning of the message.  That is unacceptable, as was this episode.

Scott skated through his opening performance, and tripped or fell on one or more jumps.  This could have been the perfect saving vehicle for him.  This is a song that should bring shivers to the spine and reduce people to chills and tears.  He performed it with the same depth of emotion that most people sing Happy Birthday. On a positive note, he looked better than he has throughout the competition, and he appeared much more confident and comfortable on stage.  But it wasn't enough to mask a poor vocal performance.  Scott had better hope The Proud Underdawgs have strong dialing fingers and have remained faithful.  Otherwise, he may find out how it feels to stand center stage on a Wednesday night.

My opinion of Constantine has not changed since last night.  In fact, I am more convinced that this man has more vocal talent than I ever gave him credit for.  And it was evident that he was one of the few who really understood his lyrics and presented them accordingly.  I must admit, though, that I am starting to applaud the times he doesn't make goo-goo eyes at me through the camera.  A little goo-goo goes a long way, Constantine.  Remember, less is definitely more.

Good gracious, Carrie.  You have the best technical ability of all of the women, and you chose this abomination of a song?  It's a great song, within the context of the story, but as a stand-alone number, there's a reason people don't sing it.  It's BORING.  So no amount of technical ability is going to make it not boring, especially when executed by a vapid performer.

At the same time I'm crucifying Carrie for performing such a bizarre choice of song, I was disappointed that Vonzell, who is quickly becoming my favorite female, selected such an overused one.  I was grateful she didn't try to flouish it, but I just wasn't as blown away by the performance as the judges seemed to be.  I have to agree with Simon here;  it left me cold.  But I don't think that is as much a reflection on Vonzell as it was on my dislike of the song itself.  (If she was going to pick from Funny Girl, why didn't she select My Man or I'm the Greatest Star?  Both great songs, with considerably less mileage.)

Simon used the word hideous to describe Anthony's disaster of a performance.  Somewhere Mary Martin is looking down and frowning.  And messing with Mother Superior?  Did he even understand the words to this song?  Did he comprehend the meaning of this song?  Did he mean to make my dog cry with that last note?  Anthony, you better have some hearing-impaired faithful fans if you want to stay in the competition.  You've already overstayed your welcome by one week.

I am not getting this adoration of Nikko.  I really don't.  Where in the world did he get the idea that West Side Story is filled with rhythm and blues?  That might have been his poorest performance to date, filled with missed and cracked notes at the front end and crammed with too many flourishes and curlycues at the end to destroy any resemblence to the original.  What Randy calls making it current, I call taking a walk to the seal.

Anwar is at least making a return to the man I fell for in the semi-finals.  And, while he still seems to be struggling with the comfort of the stage, he did, for the first time in the finals, appear to be having a genuinely good time.  But Anwar, I hope you took a good long look into a full-length mirror and realized you had enough layers to outfit a small middle school.  And did you raid Constantine's scarf closet?

Bo admitted that he closed his eyes and pointed, and that was how he ended up in Pippin.  It wasn't his best vocal performance, but because he is so inherently comfortable on the stage, and he makes us like him whether we want to or not, Bo has that unique ability to make even the mediocre sound great.  Simon was right, though.  He has had two letdown weeks.  The thing is that Bo's letdown week could be anyone else's performance of the competition.  He's in no danger of elimination, and he knows it.

Nadia went with one of my favorite songs, Nancy's heartbreaking As Long as He Needs Me, from Oliver.  But again, like so many of the others, I doubt that Nadia truly understood the context of the song beyond the superficial lyrics.  Nancy is heartbroken, but steadfast, as she sings this, so, while Nadia, despite cheating us at the end, was able to hit the right notes most of the time, she lacked the resolve and the pain that turns this from a song into a performance. 

This was the first time Idol had ever sponsored Broadway as a theme night.  Let's hope it is also the last.  It might have served as a mini-lesson for the kids on the history of American musical theater, but must we watch as they learn?  Needless to say, had this been my introduction to American Idol, I would opt for the Weather Channel.

Fantasia makes a return to the Idol stage tonight, performing her newest single Baby Mama, which is certain to please those who adamantly believed that, as an unwed teenaged mom, she was not fit to be an Idol.  Perhaps we will be spared a group sing, considering the disasters we've heard the past few weeks.

But, if we are to have a group sing, might I suggest Oklahoma?  Somehow I just see Bo and Carrie as Curly and Laurie.  Nadia is the perfect Ado Annie.  Anwar fits as Aunt Eller and no one would make a better Jud than Scott.  On second thought, no.  Poor Jud is daid, after all.

Never mind.

At this stage, with still so many kids left in the game, and fan groups still emerging and strengthening, it's always so hard to predict the bottom three.  But, as usual, I'll try.

Should be bottom three:   Anthony, Scott, Nikko.
Will be bottom three:       Anthony, Nadia, Nikko.

Everyone, it seems, is predicting Scott to be in the bottom three, due to a poor Tuesday performance and the revelation of the arrest record, and, while I think he belongs there after two lesser performances, I don't think he will.  If this were a competition where we voted people off the island, I would predict his probable ouster.  But his fans have kept him in over both Nadia and Anwar in the past few weeks, so with adversity looming, I expect those fans to have dialed their hearts out, saving him from eviction. 

Nadia seems to have lost most of what fan base she once had.  She's the Jennifer Hudson of season four, so, despite one of the better performances, I don't expect her to get the enthusiastic support the others are getting. 

Anthony simply cannot survive much longer.  He is audibly the weakest of the remaining contestants, and, while he does enjoy the support of young women with strong fingers, even some of them cannot, in all honesty, want him to continue to be verbally flogged by Simon each week.

Tonight Anthony will be climbing mountains, fording streams and following rainbows till he ends his dream.... 

 

early impressions...

Considering the universe of music out there, representing the world of musical theatre, some of tonight's song selections were a bit surprising.  But, considering that the kids were told to look to the past, as opposed to the current, the concentration of 1970s and before picks was predictable.

Overall, I would rank the show as barely acceptable, and very disturbing, considering most of the kids admitted to never having heard the songs until this week.  Oy.

But here are the early observations, from someone who doesn't get to see it live anymore because of the moon and the need for more daylight, as always, from worst to first.

Anthony.  Anthony always seems to land here, but it's only because he deserves it.  I never considered Climb Every Mountain, from The Sound of Music, to be a pop song.  And your attempt to make it such not only made me sick, it made me mad.

Nikko.  You were out of tune during the first three-quarters of One Hand, One Heart from West Side Story.  And, again, this is a ballad, not an R & B song.  I know this song, and I didn't recognize it.

Scott.  The Impossible Dream, from Man of La Mancha, is one of my all-time favorite songs.  (And it was performed during last year's finale, with the same arrangement, by the way.)  Overall, it was an admirable performance, although you probably missed more notes than you have all season.

Anwar.  Okay,  If I Would Every Leave You, from Camelot was your best effort of the finals, but unfortunately, it sounded just like some of your other efforts.  The point of theme weeks is to push you out of the comfort zone, to challenge you vocally, and turning every song into variations of the same theme is not proving that you're up for the challenge.  Just ask Nikko.

Carrie.  Could you have possibly chosen a more boring song than Hello Young Lovers from The King and I?  Of course, it did mean you didn't have to do much performing.  It was performed technically fine, but it gave mundane a new definition.

Vonzell.  Fine job taking on Barbra Steisand's People, but, like Carrie, that tune just leaves me cold.  Perhaps I've heard it too many times.  I don't know.  It was technically fine, but it wasn't enough to force me to vote for you.

Nadia.  I sang As Long As He Needs Me in my sixth grade production of Oliver, so I'm being protective.  It was your best performance of the finals, but (and this might be petty) the angry mean face has gotten old.  This was a song of love, and the facial expressions and the lyrics just didn't fit. 

Bo.  Simon was wrong.  Corner of the Sky from Pippin was a nice change from my ballad-induced coma, although I was really hoping you would choose something from Jesus Christ Superstar, Godspell or Hair.  You are one of the few we can count on for a consistently good performance.

Constantine.  Okay Buddy, cut the rocker crap.  You are either so NOT a rocker, or you're the best actor in the world.  My Little Valentine can be the most bland song, and it can also be overused, but, despite fighting with the band for volume control, you really put a new and different light on this song.

Who will land on the seal?  Fantasia.  She'll be performing tomorrow.

 

reminder! reminder! reminder!

                      You guessed it.

                        It's another
         Idol Alert!

            Think Broadway.  
           Think Gene Kelly.  
Dance in the Rain if you must.  
   Cause it's Musicals Night!

      8 p.m. on FOX

climb every mountain to get to oklahoma...

And so it's "musicals" night on Idol.  Boy meets girl and music ensues.  Or something along those lines.

It's do or die time for many of the contestants, several of whom few would have put in the danger zone for many weeks to come.

Bo and Carrie are still safely tucked in their frontrunner status, and Constantine and Vonzell, barring some sort of meltdown, are happily keeping them company.  But the others?  Everyone but these four remain hanging off the cliff, potential victims to the clunky note, boring performance or Simon's "unlikeable" label.

In all likelihood, Scott is in the greatest danger tonight.  This week's reveal that he has an arrest record will undoubtedly turn some people into anti-Scott zealots.  His advantage is that there were already a number of anti-Scott voters out there, and he has survived thus far without a trip to the seal.  His fans will probably hit the phones longer and harder, though, in the face of this adversity, but he really needs to prevent a repeat performance of last week's disaster to help to ensure his stay in the game.

Anwar also needs to watch some tapes from the semi-finals.  He needs to remember why he entered the finals one of the frontrunners, but found himself in the bottom two last week.  Moon River, Anwar!  What a Wonderful World, Anwar.  Classics, Anwar.  That's where your strength is, and, after three disappointing performances so far, you need to return to that strength. 

An uber-performance from either of these two will spell trouble for the remaining three, including the two who should have exited stage left before the dearly departed Jessica.  Nikko's fan support seems to be growing faster than the national debt, but the bull's-eye on Nadia's forehead seems to be expanding.  And Anthony is hanging on by the skin of his young fans, most of whom think he's cute.

With this group, predicting the bottom three before the show has aired is virtually impossible, simply because of the unpredictability factor, which is what is making this season far more entertaining than the last.  But I'll try.

Bottom three:  Anthony, Nadia, Nikko.
Going home:  Anthony. 

But I said that last week, and, while he deserved to, he didn't even leave the couch, much less the competition. 

So what do I know?

and the idol drama continues...

In the past few days, the private life and the past of two of the Idol contestants have been revealed and examined, both in the press and throughout various blogs and message boards.

I choose to ignore the speculation regarding anyone's personal life, but the revelation this week, thanks to The Smoking Gun (again), that Scott Savol was arrested in 2001 on charges of domestic violence, considering the show's treatment of past contestants, is worthy of discussion.

The show has gone on record as assuring that Scott's presence in the competition is secure.  He was forthcoming with the producers about his arrest.  The matter is no longer being litigated.  He paid his debt and has, according to producers, shown a degree of remorse that does not justify his disqualification.

But, of course, there were immediate screams of foul, considering that Corey Clark was disqualified during season two, also because of allegations of domestic violence.  And, certainly, everyone remembers the removal of Frenchie Davis, following the reveal that she had posed topless for an adult website.  And Donnie Williams was replaced during season three, after he was stopped for DUI after celebrating a little too much his selection to the top 32.

People seemingly are forgetting about Trenyce, who saved herself the embarrassment of a disqualification in season two, by revealing to the producers before the finals began that she had been arrested for criminal conversion, therefore, when the big reveal hit the media, the producers were not caught off-guard and steadfastly defended her right to continue to compete.

And, it seems, many people have forgotten that Paula is in the midst of her own legal battles.

So, there is precedent for allowing Scott to remain on the show.  And there is no need for the producers, through their puppet Ryan, to acknowledge this four-year-old incident, any moreso than it was necessary to acknowledge Paula's hit and run plea.

Many posters have expressed the certainty that, because of this revelation, Scott will be gone by next week.  I'm not so certain.  Scott's future will be left in the hands of the dialers.  It remains to be seenif this will put him in more jeopardy than his "image problem" already has, but it could very well spur his fans to dial faster, harder and longer.