here we go again...

Just when one would presume that the highest-rated show on television, a competition that has endured more than its share of controversy, one in which there are screams of foul and fix and conspiracy, would have hired a gazillion techie and literate people to cross its "t's" and dot its "i's", then proofread again just to be certain.  It has happened again.  Not on the same scale, this time, at least, but nonetheless inexcusable.

Reality TV Magazine is reporting that it's another phone number foul-up.

Four contestants, four numbers.  This is not brain surgery. Each contestant gets a unique phone number.

Last time they screwed up the numbers, it affected six of the eleven.

Last night it was all of them.  Except one.  And, it affected all of the closed captioning.  And it's bound to affect, even more, the confidence in the reliability of the show's voting procedure.

The order of performance was: Carrie, Bo, Vonzell, Anthony.  But during the recap, where Ryan plays good cop to the judges bad cop routine and gives out the numbers, each contestant was given the same phone number:  Carrie's.

Now, obviously, this error is not on the same grand scale as the one earlier this season, and one might wonder why anyone needing closed captioning would be watching a singing show (even though that's a ridiculous argument), this show cannot afford to give its audience any more fodder for attack.

There are already enough grumblings of phone line irregularities (ask any Constantine fan).  There are already those who know that Carrie was annointed Idol long before the crappy auditions began.  So you would think that somewhere this show, which brings in the big bucks, could afford someone with white gloves.

UPDATE:  There will be no do-over, as there shouldn't be.  FOX is acknowledging that there was a closed-captioning problem, but was fixed before the show aired on the west coast, and, the fact that the correct numbers were frequently displayed throughout the broadcast, there is no need to revote.

They shoulda decided that way last time.

early impressions...

It may have been the final four, but it was old home week on American Idol.  Seated in the audience were Mikalah Gordon, Jasmine Trias, John Stevens and LaToya London.  The kids were reprising memorable numbers from seasons past, and two of them decided to pull an anniversary homage to the Clay/Josh identical song trick from two years ago.  There were flip flops with suits, tears, well-wishes, love and kisses and grandmoms poised to totally kick ass.

Whew.

Round one ran the kids through the country wringer.  Round two sent them to Philly to salute the classic duo of Gamble and Huff, who were also among the spectators.

I haven't had the opportunity to listen without watching, which can always highlight flaws a good performance can mask, or to watch them go through their paces again, so, reserving my right of rearrangement, here are my initial impressions, as always from worst to first.

Vonzell  (How Do I Live?) -- This performance was doomed from the second note, and, despite her best efforts, just couldn't recover.  Without question, it was Vonzell's worst performance of the finals.  The tears following, and Paula's comments, were indicative that the least of Vonzell's problems were what happened, though, on that stage.

Carrie  (If You Don't Know Me By Now) -- Simon called it a mess, Randy said it didn't work, and -- the kiss of death -- Paula dissed it too.  Ouch Carrie!  If Vonzell hadn't melted down fifteen minutes prior, you would have earned worst spot.  (But, in all fairness, the arrangement, exactly as Simon said, was what ruined this song.)  How does one make this song unrecognizable? 

Bo.  (Great Day to Be Alive [thanks for the assist!])  There really was nothing technically wrong with this performance, except for the fact that it was so snoozy I slept through it. 

Anthony.  (I'm Already There)  I laughed when Simon, the only person more ignorant of country than I am, described this as both "syrupy" and "gooey."  It's a country song.  It's supposed to be sticky.  Again, nothing technically horrible.  And it allowed me to continue my nap.

Anthony.  (If You Don't Know Me By Now)  No...that's nota typo.  Anthony performed a much improved version of the song Carrie sang two contestants earlier, in the same way Josh sang what Clay sang, ending with two very different versions.  Where Carrie's was unrecognizable, Anthony stayed pretty much close to the original, even attempting to interject heartache at breaking up a happy home.  It was a noble effort.

Carrie  (Sin Wagon) -- What a difference a year makes.  Last year, when Amy Adams put her brand on this song, the producers prohibited her from singing the original lyrics and forced her to change the term "mattress dancing" to "crazy dancing" or other such nonsense.  Carrie got to sing the whole suggestive lyric, and, while not as clearly as was done last year, was energetic and even fun, when she could be heard over the always-too-loud-for-the-opening-singer band.

Vonzell.  (Don't Leave Me This Way)  With her cheering in the audience, the Vonz reprised LaToya's song from the final four one year ago, but, and I never thought I would say this, put Miss London to shame.  She was, evidentially, able to shake off the emotion of the day, put the disaster of her first song behind her, and belted this Thelma Houston song over the fence.  I would actually buy that record.  Just like I would buy...

Bo.  (For the Love of Money)  I cannot believe that my ultimate wish -- that Bo would choose this song -- actually happened.  And, even though I shouldn't be surprised, he was able to turn this very recognizable song (thanks to the Donald) into a new, fresh version that was a pleasure to watch.  But Simon was wrong -- the style is terrific.  It's Bo-riffic.

Final two?  Don't count out a shocker.  It's the final four.  Anything can happen.

And usually does.

it's fantasy idol -- philly edition...

UPDATE:  They will be splitting the themes.  Along with the Philly sound will be, uhhh, the sound of, uhhh, Nashville.  Also known as:  Let's bury Anthony and beatify Carrie in the same hour!

_____________________

That sofa just keeps getting bigger and bigger as the field gets smaller.  And it's gonna get even smaller after tonight.

After a week of Paula/Corey wisecracks, the final four and the speculation about possible themes took a back seat.  Of course, there were the normal whisperings that the theme would be tailored to favor the annointed contestants (country) or to throw an assist to the preferred third-placer (Motown).

Two years ago this week, we were treated to a night of BeeGees music, as Josh Gracin decided to go lyric-for-lyric with Clay Aiken and bought a ticket home.  One year ago this week, the full-female-foursome performed in front of Donna Summer as they Boogie Oogied to the beat of disco, now known as 70s dance tunes.  And, of course, in one of the infamous Idol incidents, LaToya got Tamyra-ed.

This year it seems the kids will be flashing back to the 60s and the heyday of the Philly sound, cruising to the tunes of Leon Huff and Kenneth Gamble. You may not recognize their names, you may not know their faces, but, again, just like last week, if you're over a certain age, you will know the music that came from their company and their vision.

So, it's time to scour the songbook, find some clips and play Fantasy Idol -- Final Four edition.

The kids will select two songs, and there is no indication (as there was last week) that the theme will be split.  So, I'm going on the assumption that each of them will perform two Gamble/Huff songs, as there are more than enough to go around the block four times.

This could prove to be the toughest night thus far, for everyone but the Vonz.  It's bound to be entertaining to watch Anthony and Carrie search for their inner soul.  So, if this is indeed the theme, we shall call it "get rid of Anthony" night.

Baby V just hit the lottery.  These songs are tailor-made for her vocal strength and her style.  A bad evening for her will be inexcusable, and, considering she might be most at risk, she should not have song selection or icky theme as any excuse.

If Vonzell has to choose two Gamble/Huff songs, she might consider a ballad to begin and a dance number to end.  If You Don't Know Me By Now would be an excellent selection for the slower, and I Love Music, for the uptempo.  But she could go for the lesser known Old Friend, by the brilliant Phyllis Hyman.  And, since the Vonz brought the house down earlier this season, covering Deniece Williams, she might be wise to put her money on It's Gonna Take a Miracle.

Some might expect Bo to struggle with Philly's musical alternative to Detroit, but, if he chooses the right songs, and does not simply pull a couple of titles from the hat as he did for the musicals disaster, he has the potential of assuring his place in the finale.  I suggest Bo consider Only The Strong Survive and Me and Mrs. Jones.  But, if he's not real fond of those selections, he should carry the mic stand around to the tune of one of my faves, Back Stabbers and Livin' For The Weekend.  But, of course, if he wants to mix up those pairings, I won't complain.  But if he were to pull out a performance of For the Love of Money, I will dial his number for two hours. 

Carrie's recommendations were a pain.  There are many lesser known songs that came out of the Gamble/Huff studios, and she will quite likely choose one of those.  But, if I were counseling her, I would urge her to stick with the well-known Betcha By Golly Wow.  And she also should consider Kiss and Say Goodbye, but I think a definite winner would be Didn't I (Just Blow Your Mind This Time), if, for no other reason, the money note she could deliver.

Anthony could choose any of the Carrie recommendations and be safe with them, but he needs to stay far far away from the sleepy songs.  He's very impressive with power ballads, and he's memorable with an uptempo song, when he's in key.  He should attempt Cowboys To Girls.  Yes.  He should.  But if not, there's always Drowning In The Sea of Love.  I would applaud him if he were to try Expressway to Your Heart, but I'm not holding my breath.  But the song I really want to hear him sing is She Used Da Be My Girl.

The pressure is mostly on Anthony, having been in the bottom two each of the last two weeks, being saved by a hair, and now being served a theme that might cause him some trouble.  But, before anyone starts deciding he's toast, it's important to remember harsh comments equal record voting.  A good performance tends to equal complacency.  So another poor Anthony showing, coupled with a fine Vonzell performance could land Baby V on the Ellen show.

Bo cannot show the contempt (however sweetly masked it might be) for this theme that he showed for the Broadway/Musicals/whatever we decided to call it theme.  His numbers are strong, but he needs to continue leaving everything on the stage if he wants to land in the finale.

Carrie needs to not fall off the stage.

But, it's traditionally final four night that knocks out a favored contestant in favor of, well, a less-favored one.  Remember Tamyra and Nikki?  LaToya and Jasmine?  Uh oh.  Could be trouble for Carrie.  Or Bo.

It's Idol Night!

a little interactive fun...

Okay everyone.  Time for a little fun as we wind down season four and head toward the finale stretch.

By Wednesday, we'll have three remaining.  And, on May 25, we'll be revisited by all of them as they dress in the finest Brady Bunch attire and treat us all to one more group song.

So, which of the performances would you like to see again?

Here's Lindsey.  Remember her?  She didn't stay very long, but she outlasted Melinda Lira.

Lindsey's song list includes Standing Right Next to Me, I Try to Think About Elvis and I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, during the semi-finals, and Knock on Wood, which she performed during 60s Night.

Which of those do you want to revisit?  Or do you?  I have the videos.  You pick the number.  Vote in the comment section.  One vote per screenname, and the votes will be open for everyone to scrutinize.

Please come out of lurkdom!  Vote for what you want to see.  (Or if you prefer NOT to remember Lindsey, maybe you'd rather remember Janay?)  [You would rather hear Janay?  Are you nuts?]

Here's Mikalah.  Remember her?  She was the Fran Drescher/Barbra Streisand wannabe.  She didn't hang around long either, but she did outlast Lindsey.

Mikalah's songlist includes Young Hearts  Run Free, God Bless The Child and Somewhere, from the semifinals, Son of a Preacher Man from 60s night and Love Will Lead You Back, the song that did her in during Billboard #1 week.

Vote for your favorite Mikalah moment!  (I don't have her elimination, though, sorry.)

Or, if you'd rather hear from Aloha, I can take care of that too.

Comments people!  I want comments!  You pick the performance, I'll upload the videos.  It's really very simple. 

It's your vote America!  Oh, sorry.  Channeling Ryan Seacrest.

Next time -- Jessica and Nikko!


Voting ends 12 noon (EDT) on Idol night Tuesday 5/11.

 

 

just in case you missed it...

One good comedy sketch is worth more than a thousand press releases...


Paula on Saturday Night Live...

(Please save my bandwidth -- right click as "save target as" to your computer instead of watching it from here.  Thanks!)

 

 

at least there was no william hung...

It's still not over.

Until this year, season two held the distinction of being the most controversial, scandalous season of the show's brief history. 

This season just shot that one to hell.

The whole Paula-gave-Corey-cough-syrup-cellphones-clothes-and-condoms mess is the peak of what has been a one-scandal-after-another season, and has caused many viewers to pack their viewing bags and leave, while forcing others to use far too many hyphens.

When did it start? 

It's all Marlea Stroman's fault. 

I'll ignore the crappy auditions.  The downslide of season four began when Marlea Stroman, who should have been a lock as a final twelve female, "suddenly" exited stage right in the midst of sobs because she "missed her baby after only two days in Hollywood."  Much production centered around the first resignation of an Idol wannabe.

Little did anyone know.

Maybe it wasn't a scandal, but the first semi-final execution brought bunches of screams of "foul" when Ryan, after insinuating that Judd was "safe" and spending far too much time filling an hour of bloodletting, suddenly swerved and shot the poor little guy right between the eyes, taking Judd by obvious surprise and sending the critics into overtype.

And we mustn't forget little Melinda's "Cry for me Argentina, cause I didn't get any airtime" diatribe, before falling to pieces on stage in front of a live television audience.

Then came Mario, who flirted himself into a final twelve spot, only to bail just hours before the first "live-which-was-really-taped" finals performance episode.  Nikko's out, Scott's in, Mario's out, Nikko's back.  Swoosh. 

Why did he leave?  It was personal.  Was he gay?  Was he mad?  (That would have made him not-gay.)  Did he have a better offer?  Did he run out of hats?

Rumors swirled.  Tongues wagged. 

Then he was forgotten.

But at least these scandals were contestant-driven.  The show was still above board, beyond reproach.

Until.  Those numbers.  Those mixed up numbers that gave Anwar's to Scott and Mikalah's (remember her?) to Nadia, or some such thing.  Do Over time!  The FOX programmers had to scramble to fit in another hour of Idol, and I missed The Apprentice, all because somebody somewhere put an intern in charge of graphics.  But Mikalah left anyway, so it was all good.

Guns were smoking and a small band of idiots was plotting the destruction of Idol as we know it.  Problem was, nobody knew it.

Nadia has a baby!  She's a single mom.  Never been married.  The hussy.

Scott has a son!  He wasn't married to the boy's mother.  Oh how sweet.

Hmm. 

Oh my heavens, Anwar is gay!  And he's peddling himself on a dating website, looking for...

Poor Anwar.  He didn't even get his 15 seconds of scandal, because where there's smoke there's a website and people who actually enjoy rummaging through moldy court records.

Scott!  You didn't marry your son's mom, but you threw a phone at her?  And you got arrested for domestic violence (a misdemeanor).  You thug!  You jerk!  You Communist!  You should leave.  Leave now!  Get out!  This is not what Idols are made of!

But he doesn't leave, and he's not forced to go, because, according to producers, he spilled his arrested guts to the big wigs long before the competition began.  So he was safe.  But he won't be safe for long, America screams. 

But the bad guys have other plans.

Bad guys?  There are bad guys? 

What else do you call a small group of organized dialers, hell bent on voting for the "worst" candidate, with the single goal of making a mockery of the process.  Okay, so maybe they were successful in November, but will they carry their chosen candidate through to the final two?

It didn't work with Constantine.  And, as soon as these genuises realized Constantine would not have been considered an unpopular contestant, they refocused their attention on Mikalah.  That didn't last long.  Eleventh won't alter the outcome.  So Scott became their man, even though Scott was not, by far, the worst of the vocalists.

And so they dialed.  Scott lived another week.  They applauded themselves, patted themselves on the back for a job well done. 

Arrogance will get you nowhere, and that's exactly where the "worst website" is now.

But, in an annual shocking twist of fate, Constantine, the smouldering, pouting, Partridge Family-singing, Greek heartthrob (?) is sent packing, earning no better than a sixth-place finish.  And waving bye-bye to the popular-but-now-exiled contestant are the "less talented" duo of Anthony and Scott.

That's it.  Viewers swear off the show.  There are cries of broken phone lines, broken hearts and producer manipulation.  After all, Constantine's band, Pray for the Soul of Betty, had just signed a record deal days prior.  Constantine, of course, cannot, under conditions of his contract, profit from the sale of the CD, but his image can certainly prominently adorn its cover.

Were the producers angry over this?  Did they alter the numbers to force him out?  Tongues wagged.  Conspiracy theorists argued.  Others simply applauded.

More smoke.  It's Bo.  Bo knows smoke.  And coke.  It seems.  Felony cocaine and marijuana possession charges surface.  Seems Bo spent some time in a drug diversion program about a year ago.  Is this what an Idol should be made of?

And now Paula.  Did she sleep with a season two contestant and offer him advice and counsel, and then order a massive coverup?  Or are these the claims of a bitter, out-for-revenge Idol reject, just looking for book and CD publicity?

After a season saturated with scandal, who cares?

And it's not over!  There are still three weeks left in the competition, and Carrie, Vonzell and Anthony have yet to have their dirty linens hung out to dry.

Could it be that Vonzell actually did glance through Mrs. Baker's Playgirl magazine before she shoved it in the slot?  Did Anthony really smuggle a pear into Arizona?  And, as unlikely as it seems, did Carrie really not floss for a whole week?

Stay tuned.  Or tuned out.

And to think some people consider skydiving to be exciting.

Damn you Marlea Stroman.

idol may not recover...

Oh my eyes!

Like most people, I stayed up past my bedtime to discover how ABCNews defines the word "shocking."  And, just for fun, I wanted to see if Corey Clark could complete a literate sentence.  (It's still no on that one.)

What I saw was, indeed, shocking.  In fact, I don't know if I'll ever watch the show the same again, just like they said. 

The horror of what was on that screen is indescribable.  The memory will haunt me for days.

Did you SEE Randy Jackson in leather?

There really should have been some sort of parental v-chip, p-chip, advisory, warning.

And he better never again comment on another contestant's wardrobe choices.