the final six -- okay, we surrender...

It's never easy to pick and choose the least-crappiest Idol.  I hate those episodes -- the ones when song selection is questionable, performances rank just below mediocre, and the entire show leaves a lingering aftertaste that no amount of earwash can cover.

Last night was one of those nights, but, considering it was this time last year that we struggled through Gloria Estefan night (ugh), I would have to say this one was, at least, less painful.

Who's safe?  Not a single one of them.

At this point, and this should be our last bottom three, it's inevitable that the lower tier will have a baby in the bathwater.  And, when you add unpredictable voting to the mix, it's anybody's guess who will be packing bags and leaving on a jet plane back to the farm, back to the arms of the families we were introduced to last night.

Any one of the presumptive final three could find him/herself on the seal tonight.  Of the three, only Bo gave an adequate performance, even though his was less than stellar.  Carrie wiggled and hacked through yet another Martina McBride country number, showing, by most accounts, more personality, but at the expense of solid vocals.  The negative feedback from the panel might have let some of the wind out of her sails, but, considering her staunch fan base, it's going to, in all probability, take a few more ousted kids' fan groups before Carrie is in actual danger of being punted.

Constantine also has the benefit of rabid supporters, who will not let one massive disaster keep them from the phones.  The problem Constantine might face are the ones who are splitting their votes, for whatever reason, which could land our Greek boy on the seal for the first time.

Anthony delivered the near-universally lauded surprise of the evening, solidly, even if blandly, landing one of the few non-overdone Celine songs, even though most rank him a rung or ten behind Kelly's performance of the same song in season one.  He undoubtedly picked up a few extra votes just from fans committed to other contestants, just as a reward for showing such improvement over the last few weeks, or at least since the disaster called Musicals, even though split-voting at this stage is borderline insane.  And dangerous.  That performance may very well give our Ukrainian from Philly a reprieve from the seal tonight.

While Anthony has shown steady improvement over the past few weeks, Vonzell, who came on strong at the front of the finals, took a nosedive last night, tackling, unsuccessfully, a Christina Aguilera ballad.  Vonzell's biggest weapon, aside from her black belt, is her personality.  And while Paula was right [yikes!] that Vonzell instantly connects with the audience, a trick Carrie has yet to master, any ballad, but that one specifically, did not allow Vonzell's effervescence to show on the night she may have needed it to the most.  I see Vonzell taking a short walk this evening.

And Scott, who really had nothing whatsoever to lose, really needed a power ballad homerun, especially after getting plopped in the lifesaver slot.  He delivered, however, a lullabye with yet another Luther Vandross sleepy ballad.  It's a pretty song, but it's not what Scott needed to pull off to stay in the game.  Scott can thank the others though, because, without them, he may have been the crappiest of the night.  He wasn't.  But he's going to make a return visit to the seal, or to group B or group on the left or whatever elimination hoops they plan to put the kids through tonight.

On a night when not a single performance stood out as fab, when the best music of the show was the tape of 18-month-old Anthony and the most personality came in the form of a baby rabbit, it's hard to winnow the kids down to the bottom three.  But, as usual, I gotta try.

SHOULD be bottom 3:

Scott = bland performance, no real risk taking, still terrific voice but weakest performer of the remaining contestants.
Vonzell = flat and uncomfortable performance, worst finals effort from her. 
Constantine = terrible performance, bad imitiation of a bad imitation of the original.

WILL be bottom 3:

Scott, but his fans will have stepped on children and small animals to get to the phones.
Vonzell, will fall victim to Anwar fans who may have just split their votes between Scott and Anthony, one-time-only reward votes for Anthony and his sweet and adorable parents, and the anti-threat movement.
And Constantine who will suffer from having the worst performance of the evening, complacent fans on one hand and, on the other, fans who split their votes between him and Anthony/Scott in an attempt to pad their vote totals in order to eliminate the only true threat(s) to a Carrie/Constantine/Bo final three.  [Threats = Nadia, Anwar, Vonzell.]

And ultimately, Baby V will get karate kicked right off the stage, leaving the path wide open to the C/C/B final three, and leaving America in an uproar over conspiracy theories and rigged voting. 

Just what ABC is hoping for.

*entry deleted, edited and reposted, for those of you with alerts.