And it's another installment of American Idol where vocal talent is not always required to stay in the game. And those with the vocal talent do not always stay in the game. Let the game begin.
The judges pulled out their gavels last night, and they pulled out Clive Davis, talent finder extrordinaire to sit in judgment of the three remaining ladies. And, for one of the ladies at least, they brought out the noose. Or hook, if you will.
It became evident very early that poor little Jasmine, dressed in that cute little number with the big bull's-eye target on the back, could have channeled Maria Callas while standing on one hand juggling bowling balls with her feet, and she would have been scolded for "playing it safe." Poor kid. She couldn't do anything right. Her first selection Saving All My Love for You, the song she chose for herself [why in God's name???] was tokenly complimented by the usual suspect, and blasted by the other two while Davis emphatically reminded her and everyone else that "nobody sings as good as Whitney Houston." Duh. I've been saying that for months. So why in hell do they keep trying? Strike one.
Okay, out comes Fantasia singing Chain of Fools, her pick, the same song she recorded on the CD. She was as good on stage as she is in the recording, but I have to wonder why she didn't choose something different. She already had that song and that arrangement in place, so, instead of preparing three songs for the show, she really only had to work on two. Hmmm. A bit of laziness, perhaps? It's kind of like recycling a gift. It's easy, but it doesn't show a whole lot of thought. The judges heap on the praise as is expected. It's deserved, but everything is just starting to look very predictable.
Diana chooses Ain't No Mountain High Enough. Okay, now I'm sensing some sort of conspiracy. Like Fantasia, Diana doesn't really have to prepare this number. She sang it with the group, both on stage and on the CD. Hmmm. I'm not really liking this. She performs admirably, but Simon gives her the thumbs down, accusing her of shouting the lyrics. I didn't hear the shouting, but I was a few thousand miles away, listening from my office. So even Diana's voice sounds softer from that distance.
Now it's time to find out what the judges choose for the girls. Jasmine is the lead-off, and she gets to sing a Paula selection, poor girl. It's a Natalie Cole song called Mr. Melody. I've never heard the song, and I don't want to hear it again. The song is redundant, and Jasmine is worse. And she's told so. Strike two.
Simon chooses Fool in Love for Fantasia. Fantasia rocks the house. Hell, she rocked my house, even causing my telephone to ring. It's my step-daughter, the Fantasia hater, who now has "seen the light." Told her she would. Clive Davis says he'd sign Fantasia in a heartbeat. I'll buy the CD.
Randy, why on earth did you choose a Celine Dion song for Diana? Yes, we know she loves Celine, but geesh. Enough already. Diana is adequate, she gets faint praise, but she assures us, giggling, that she'll accept any words not directed at Jasmine.
Now we get to the point of the show that I was looking forward to. What will Clive Davis choose for the girls? He has heard their strengths and weaknesses; what vocal acrobatics will he subject them to.
Jasmine is handed the noose of All By Myself. Could Davis be any crueler? This is the song that introduced most of America to LaToya London. And LaToya stopped the world with it. Poor Jasmine. Her rendition is a watered-down imitation of the LaToya arrangement, only without LaToya. Simon all but threatens the voters if they don't end Jasmine's run. He's right. Strike three.
UPDATE: If I read one more review where this song is referred to as a Celine Dion song, I will have a major (instead of this tiny, minor) rant. It is an Eric Carmen song. It might have been the Celine arrangement, but it is NOT her song. Now back to the show...
MAKE IT STOP!! No More Whitney Houston Songs. Please!! Fantasia can sing anybody. But I am so sick of the Greatest Love of All. I am just so sick of it. But if I have to hear a rendition of it, I'm glad it was by Fantasia. The judges love it. I love it. The phone rings again. The step-daughter loves it. The dog loves it. The Pope loves it. Hawaii does not love it.
Diana secures her spot in the finale with one of my favorite songs, the glorious Melissa Manchester's Don't Cry Out Loud. She holds the final note through Ryan's "Seacrest Out" nonsense and halfway into "24." Beautiful song. Beautiful performance.
Fantasia gets the award for best-overall-performance of the night. The best single performance of the night is a close one. But I have to go with Diana's last one, followed ever so closely by Fantasia's final one. The show itself ranks about a 6 out of 10, nowhere where it could/should have been and not even close to last year's final three.
I shudder to think of LaToya London sitting at home watching this episode. Had she been one of the three, this would have been a toss-the-coin, dead-heat horse race. But, instead, we end up with a shutout.
If Jasmine doesn't leave tonight, there is no justice.
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