SIMULBLOG: everything is not beautiful...

It's execution night on American Idol, as Ryan tells us yesterday was "amazing," and we got 32.5 million votes, the most outside of a finale.  Okay, I buy the record, but I don't buy the amazing, and, unfortunately, we get slapped with a recap of the "amazing" "record-setting" night.

Uh oh.  It's time for group sing.  Oh help us.  Everything is Beautiful?  By Ray Stevens?  Can I get a side of velveeta with those cheese fries.  Nikko and Jessica turn the song into something I don't recognize.  And they're all singing and walking out upon the Bo stage, also known as the catwalk.  Oh for the love of everything that is musical, can't anyone find a decent group song?  That was beyond terrible.  I would have preferred The Macarena.  And I think I prefer the Burger King king carrying the breakfast sandwich that ate Pittsburgh.

But they save it with a hysterical Ford commercial.  (Okay, I know it was also cheesy, but it was different, so I think it was funny.  And considering the pain caused by the group sing, the commercial was an aspirin.)

Time for the bloodletting.  Nikko is safe.  So are Constantine, Carrie and Bo.  Nadia, not you.  Get off the couch!  Get to the seal!  Jessica!  Leave the sofa!  Get off now!  Go to the stage!  Scott isn't talking to anyone tonight.  He's safe.  (Yay!)  Now the last three get toyed with.  Anwar, Vonzell and Anthony all get to hear their critiques and try to look cute while listening.  Ryan brings up the fact that last week the same three were sitting in the same spot and had to endure his cute little tease before cutting to the commercial.

And he jerks their chains again.  Creep.

Ryan puts Anthony through a wringer before letting him off the hook and sending Anwar to the seal.  Off the couch Anwar! 

Simon says he would replace Nadia with Scott.  Evidentially he didn't listen to Anthony last night. 

Nadia is sent back to the sofa.  And we are forced to look upon the poor puppy face called Anwar and the mad as hell face known as Jessica.

And as we await, we are forced, as if we care, to hear crap about retirement funds for persons in the academic field.  Oh wait.  That's me.  Never mind.

And then there's more weiner on a stick promos.  Is anyone actually watching that show?

Crunch time.  And Jessica is told it's last call for her, as the funeral tape runs.  She shoulda never dyed her hair.

Why is necessary for them to sing the song that got them booted.  At this point they've performed three songs with the big band.  They make a funeral tape.  Can't they select which song they want to be buried with?

Jessica sings out nicely as we finally get to see the group hug.

Till next week.

Simulblog out.